Wake up call !

I never plan my blogs, never.
So today's I thought was going to be run of the mill, "look what happened today !" but... life has a way of sneaking up on yer, and kicking you in the ass ! right?

Jayne and I have known that Darcy would need surgery on a PDA, or heart murmour that she has, it needs plugging, so she function normally, and not get tired too quick in later life, we knew this was due.
But yesterday we got a call to say that Darcy needs to be in hospital on Thursday, for pre-op tests, and then the precedure will be done next tuesday. !! WTF next tuesday !! is it better knowing weeks in advance that something like this is going to happen ?? or is better to be told days away, !?? I'm still working that one out, and coming to terms with it !.

Ok so the surgery is not supposed to be dangerous, but then all surgery carries risks . The feelings I have putting off, of " yeah it will be ok " " this is something that needs to be done " get the surgery done,then move on " have kind of evaporated, and left me with the feeling of "what if " ??
I now know the feelings that parents say, that if they could have the surgery for the kids they would . Everyone keeps saying, " she'll be fine !" don 't worry, but what if she isn't ?? I realise that although I have been there for Darcy in the last year, I could have done more, i could have spent MORE time with her, i could have loved her more, if something goes wrong next week, I wouldn't know what to do !! She is my world !

Darcy learns so fast , she has only met my gran twice, yet she will point to a photo and say "gran" and last nite i taught her what her big and little toes were.. ok stupid , little things, but these are the things that are growing to be the most important things in my life, and i find are now pushing all my worries into the background, ( for me that is a big thing )

This is why i'm trying to hold it together, trying to not worry , or show it infront of jayne, OR darcy, and just praying all will be well !!
I feel it will be a long week and a half !

Busy weekend, stress and radios

Well this weekend was all about number crunching, i tried to fix the radio in my car but found i probably made it worse!! i know now that it is now the stereo that has died, so i have to buy a new one, and of course get the fascia plate to suit !! however i will probably have to try and get a new car in the next year or 2 as i'm cramming 20k on the clock in travelling to work, the car has been a workhorse, but for how long can a horse work, before it has to be put out to pasture !!

starting looking at the broadband options, but to enable the broadband i really need a decent pc at home !! to enable all 3 of the above , i really need a new job, with a higher salary !! Oh boy !!

time to save hard, i feel the money will be needed soon !!

Darcy's cold is improving slightly, the need for her to sleep in our bed is disturbing me though.... on saturday she was crying from coughing at 3am, she wanted to sleep with us, but i am so scared of turning on her, that i slept on the floor !! Bad idea, i had bad back pain saturday morning, but darcy got a nice comfy mattress !! Darcy you do not know it but your big cot is coming into play this week !!! sorry no more bed hyjacking !!

So after taking Darcy to the swings, and recovering from a vague hangover from the night before, when me and two friends saw some foortball, shot some pool, and tried to sort out their love lives, i settled down to a lazy day in the garden, caned my dahlia's bought some pots for my sweet peas, and a new camelia !!

After this as Jayne had taken Darcy out for the afternoon, i settled down to watch a few episodes, of King of Queens, and Miami Ink !!

i need to get some cash ..... time for more number crunching .... hhmmm